An evening without Corona: douze points

Last night I sat through the entire Eurovision song contest, a unique. It looked fantastic, I can't say anything else, really unparalleled. The entire presentation was impeccable except for a minor miscarriage – but yes, the four 'inclusively' chosen presenters (as a white boomer man, I never felt underrepresented for a moment) did everything live.

For the first time in a whole year, I felt that my tax money had been spent meaningfully

Oh no – no corona for a while!

The Netherlands has shown its best side from Ahoy with an amazing visual show, an impeccable organization and a more than professional presentation. And with an audience, how important that is... If only theaters and concert halls would realize that it is not so difficult to make their halls virus-free or virus-free! And if it's rivm – hey, no corona for a while.

For the Netherlands, there was a decidedly inclusive entry, however hopeless in a program like this, although, you never know. In the total musical range of the evening, I found our African folk influences quite refreshing. It would probably have been very successful at an African Song Contest because it was also a great song and well performed; the European public is just not ready for this yet. People are mainly looking for it in their own culture, just like Jeangu Macrooy himself. Understandable. There is still a long way to go before everyone is at peace with that and hopefully it is not a road to uniformity in which everyone likes everything.

The "Dutch entry", is that supposed to represent something? Whether the average Dutch person feels represented by this is no longer an issue, it should not be or should simply no longer be an issue. I myself initially did not have much to do with this representation of the Netherlands (it seemed more like something for Senegal or something) but precisely for that reason I did – of course I did, actually! Just be recalcitrant, kick the dull mess in the ass. Show that everything is possible here and everyone belongs despite the intended apartheid that is going down our throats...! – Oh no, no corona, sorry.

The evening ended on a hopeful note: an Italian rock band with a rather hysterical, but super energetic act was the winner. The musicians also understood that lip-syncing means that you have to show your guitar to the audience and walk around with it in a tough way, like a dog that has just conquered a new bone from its owner: "Look, look, mine, grrr". It was not such a special song. I'm not good at pop-rock but it sounded a bit Lenny Kravitz/Living Colour. Or should I say Jimi Hendrix/Grand Funk Railroad? I'm going to see if there is a live version of it, that could just be very exciting. This is really a band (see their Wikipedia page) so who knows.

Zero points

Remarkable was the last place: UK with zero points. Neither jury nor audience gave points. Last time, the British accused Europe of a reckoning because of the Brexit, this time that conspiracy theory cannot stand. It was really a failure. The singer had no breath to sing properly, presumably because of his overweight. You have it again. Because of that British overweight, my thoughts wandered to what I would not be doing this evening. Fortunately, I was able to resist the temptation. It was therefore not equally clean everywhere due to a lack of breath support. The song was not much, but that applies to Italy just as much as to most other songs, including a lot of polished and bombastic disco stompers.

During the jury assessments, the leading position was alternately occupied by two French-language songs: France and Switzerland. Certainly not a disco.

Italy was somewhere in the right row. The public jury voted fairly unanimously for Italian rock and BAM – Italy on 1 and there they stayed. The disco dancers were left behind.

Bright spots

For myself, the qualitative contenders stood out: Malta (power singer), France (intense chanson), Portugal (perhaps the most fun but I don't like such a nasal singer, say Eros Ramazzotti squared), San Marino too. Bookmaker's favorite Switzerland had a good act, beautiful song, super designed but a bit unstable voice. So I still finished in the top 3.

Personally, I enjoy that another solid rock song wins. Just like then with Lordi, that was completely absurd but laughable: a statement. By the way, I thought "Waterloo" was already a Status Quo song at the time that had been made accessible to musical wheelchair users with a handy arrangement and nice desserts – I was still young, it was 1974. Rock 'n roll is everywhere.

Rock 'n roll will never die!!

Damiano David, singer Måneskin, after receiving 1st prize Eurovision Song Contest 2021

The Italians were allowed to repeat their act one more time after two years of intensive preparation. "The youth has made a statement," the commentators said

1. The youth does not watch TV, let alone Eurovision
2. This music is for 'youth' from the 60s or 80s. I mean: people who were young at the time
3. As if hard rockers are watching the Eurovision Song Contest.

The fact that such a band is now winning indicates in my opinion the poverty of the rest of the program.

The bankruptcy of the disco stamper

It is not easy to understand that countries keep sending in disco stompers. Probably because of the success of Beyoncé or something. Rather look at a phenomenon like Billie Eilish, if you are really considering involving the youth a little more.

And... What was it like next? It's all a matter of taste, of course, but some songs were drenched in quotes from previous winners or seemed like disguised remakes of them. They would only just slip the plagiarism test. I always find the rhythmic uniformity very difficult to endure on these kinds of evenings, just like the unanimity in tempo (something like 123 bpm or so, I haven't measured it). Harmonicly, something nice happened in two or three of the 26 songs. Furthermore, of course, those beautiful CGI sets, lots of dancing, white teeth and long legs, but as a white boomer man, I will not comment further on the artist presentations. After all, there are limits to Dutch inclusivity, the poles are clearly set. It's important to stay within that otherwise I'll be out before I know it. For nothing.

Watch the Eurovision Song Contest in the Two-minute summary of the AD